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No Boundaries? Huh what do you mean No Boundaries?


27 / enero / 2022

That one morning when I woke up and my arms were paralyzed… as a result of a burnout, I did not stop and think ‘What caused it?’. Of course, just like almost everything in life I believe that a ‘situation’ is a result of a culmination of various things,  not just ONE single thing is responsible for that particular situation. That I got a burnout was not the result of one thing, rather various things, and one of the causes that I know for sure was that I was really bad at setting my boundaries.


Perhaps to some of you reading this it may sound like common sense, but for me it was not that obvious.  You see some of the values that you may have are deeply rooted in your subconscious mind.  Some may come from your family values, or cultural values, or the news, or your fears and anxieties of your parents.  All this has a big influence on your values that will later make the foundation of your adolescence and adulthood.


 Some of those invisible values and beliefs  that are handed to us may be constructive and positive, while others, well pardon my language, are just pure rotten sh*tty.  For example, I learned at a very young age that,  as a woman I needed to take care of everyone else first instead of myself, or that external looks were what mattered if I wanted to be loved. I honestly do not believe that  they were ill-meant values, they were  just values  passed on from generation to generation, or just re-enforced by the societal believes in a blindly way.  Unfortunately,  most of the time the majority of the people may be oblivious to the values that form their life’s foundation based on their personal beliefs and values.  I know I used to be. Perhaps you are also oblivious until;  you find yourself overwhelmed with a job that you do not like, until you have sleepless nights because your stressing out, until you do not know how to deal with your day because you said ‘yes’ to help out, ‘yes’ to cook for your children and their hockey teams,  ‘yes’ to take the neighbours puppies to the vet while you are sick and have fever, etc., etc., all this simply  because you do not know how to say NO.  So, you keep on doing it all; you become the problem solver, the go-to person because you cannot say ‘no’, or feel guilty when saying no. And you keep on going, going and going, until one morning you find yourself in a burnout, or you are seriously ill, or your relationship is over, or you wake up and you are stuck in a toxic relationship and do not know how to get out of it.


These are some examples of where we can get to if we do not set our boundaries.


Are you this person? Do you recognize yourself here?


 I used to be someone that wanted to please people, did not know my boundaries and was not really aware of the effect that others and things had on me. I did not know how to set my boundaries… until it was too late and woke up with my arms paralyzed because of a burnout. 


Today I know how to set my boundaries and have healthy boundaries!


 On my next blog- I will discuss what healthy boundaries are ©  Want to learn more about healthy boundaries… click here…

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